7 Weeks to Ramadan - Being less of a jerk

It is only in about 7 weeks that we will face Ramadan Inshallah so it is once again time to think about how we want to welcome the blessed month, what we want to achieve, what to experience and what to take with us when the month is over and we pick up with our daily lives again!

Everyone of us has different issues to tackle in life. They might be related to our health and well-being, worship or religious education, our relationships to family, spouses or friends, our place in the society and the nature of our work, the chances we took or that we didn't take in life. We might suffer of our past, the present or fear the future. Or we might be perfectly happy and balanced and still long for something extraordinary!

I'm sure that most of us want to change something. 

Normally we can't change our surrounding or the society we were born into, our occupation or our demographical and geographical location. But when there is a chance, we have to know why we want to change something: Is it because we see something going wrong in society, f.e. a lack of humanitarianism or respect amongst people; the occuring of some grave social issues? Or is it in fact because we're not feeling comfortable ourselves, not happy or accepted by the surrounding, not optimistic about our chance for a good life?
The line between a personal issue and a social one is thin and may be subjective, but when the personal issue is significant enough or a larger amount of individuals are affected by it, it is automatically a social one. And the other way around. That means that in which ever way we are being harmed, most likely society is being harmed. It means, in which ever way we're been treated well, most likely it has a positive impact for the rest of society. I guess everybody agrees with me when I assume that even the smallest action can cause big consequences. 

We should start by changing something about ourselves.

We should pay attention to our own behaviour, even to the smallest details. To the way we interact with people, the way we work and study, the way we treat other living creatures, the environment and objects of daily life. But most importantly: the way we treat those who are close to us.

For me it implies asking myself the following questions:

• How many times have I approached my family by my own account, unsolicited? Called them, written to them, seen them?
• Have I thought of them when I have felt happy, satisfied, blessed? When I have achieved/purchased/received something?
• Am I treating others fair? Have I forgiven them their mistakes? Or have I unconsciously condemned somebody for his/hers previous actions?
• Do I treat my partner/spouse with respect and love? 
• Am compassionate towards my partner/spouse?
• Am I paying enough attention to what a person is saying to me?
• Am I being gentle towards people? Or am I being harsh and unfriendly?
• Do I help others when I'm being asked/not asked for a favor? 
• Am I providing help selflessly/open-handedly, or am I expecting something in return?
• Do I believe to better than another person?
• Am I honest and loyal towards my friends/partner?
• ...

If perfection was my goal, I would be as far from it as from being a millionaire (that's extremely far!). I can openly say that most of the faults listed above apply to me in a way. Some more frequently, some less. Yes, I know, it's sad!! That's why I really want to concentrate on tackling a couple of them, inshallah. 

 This is my Master Plan:

• I want to be more compassionate and gentle towards others 
• I want to forgive people their mistakes fully and completely and treat others fair
• I want to remember my family and friends with handwritten letters! 

So please make du'a for me that I manage to stick to my new principles starting from NOW, so that I become less of a jerk! I will make du'as for all the "pig won'ts" out there, I promise :)