ABOUT ME

About me 

 

It is hard for me to describe myself with a couple of clauses, such as it is for anyone, I guess. The following facts will maybe give insight into who I possibly am.
I was born in Köln, Germany, as the kid of a linguist mother and an engineer father. Into a lutheran family that spoke Finnish and German. As for being the result of an example of intereuropean nomady I travelled thousands of miles before I could even crawl. While I learned to walk, to speak, to read and while my two younger sisters were born, the travelling continued, fastening our bonds with two different cultures, yet splitting identities.
When I grew up I began to travel by myself, to Russia and Ukraine, exploring Russian and a new mentality. I would try to find somewhere else what I could not find in my two homecountries. And wherever I was, whatever I read, I was considering it to possibly be the missing part, which would complete myself and glue together all those different fragments of the cosmos that would create my identity.
On my travels to Turkey and southern Ukraine (has been quite prominently in the news for some months) I discovered a quiet and peaceful way of life, that had been the focus of my interest for quite a while: Islam. While the 9/11 bombings were the first thing many people associated (and still associate) with Islam, I can't remember ever having a negative association with it. Mine was turkish food like delicious lahmacun!  and my aunt, who became Muslim some 20 years back in time. The beautiful Mausoleum of the Taj Mahal in India may have had some impact too ;) lol.

The Lahmacun-theory

 

When I'm thinking of what excactly brought me to Islam, I prefer the Lahmacun-theory though. Ever since I was a small girl I have loved turkish food (who wouldn't?) and in behalf of that my father used to say: "When you grow up, you will have to marry a Turk or you will starve" (as if finally that poor Turkish lad would've satisfied my need for turkish delicacies! So I didn't).
It is said that "the way to a man's heart goes through his stomach", only that I am a woman and that I didn't swallow Islam. Still, I like to think that my love for turkish food did create a bond between me and a culture in which Islam plays a major role. And who knows what Du'a the cook made whilst preparing my meals?

Glad tidings

 

I began to make observations about my environment in a totally different way since I aknowledged the existence of Muslims in Köln. During Ramadan 2010 I was so desperate to learn more about Islam and it's pillars that I decided to go into a neighbourhood with the most remarkable Muslim community in order to find somebody to help me. When I got out of the subway I asked the first covered woman that I saw if she could tell me where the closest Mosque was. With a surprised laugh she told me that she was just attending the Mosque for Iftar and that I should join her. She turned out to be a Islamic scholar (although she'd herself never put it this way) and part of the Mosques commition for interreligious affairs and dialogue as a researcher. When we arrived at the Mosque, she introduced me to a lot of people such as other converts that we were breaking fast with. She took the time to show me how wudhu was made such as introducing me to Salat-prayer and made that evening very meaningful for me. Her hospitality and commitment were so overwhelming for me that I felt like I had finally found a place that was truly welcoming me as for who I was. And for those who feel the urge to turn and twist what I just said: As long as I have been meeting Muslims, I have rarely, extremely rarely, felt the need to ask myself what the real intention behind their friendship was. I didn't ever feel urged or pushed into anything, nor did anyone ask for my intentions. It was the greatest gift to be unexpectedly welcomed and it has become an essential aspect of my faith too, ever since. 

"Be kind to parents, and the near kinsman, and to orphans, and to the needy, and to the neighbor who is of kin, and to the neighbor who is a stranger, and to the companion at your side, and to the traveler, and to [slaves] that your right hands own. Surely God loves not the proud and boastful such as are niggardly, and bid other men to be niggardly, and themselves conceal the bounty that God has given them." (Qur'an, 4:36-37

Today

 

Now I am studying Fine Arts in Finland but visiting my family regularly in Germany. I have accepted the fact that I will maybe never feel like living in only one country for good. My faith has encouraged me to explore and gain more knowledge about the world and it's people without being exposed to the fear of rejection or isolation. My friendships include both Muslims and non-Muslims and I feel happy and priviledged to live the life that I want as an individual and yet part of a greater context. As an independent Muslim and yet part of the Umma. I thank Allah for guiding me and for giving me so many things. Amongst them, most importantly, a home. 

Kastehelmi Kollmann